I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
