Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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