Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he shaved USA in his pubs
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
