Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
