Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
