Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
