great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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