So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
