I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I need moral support for this bender
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
