That's when you crack a 10am beer
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
