i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
