My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize