There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
