There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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