Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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