we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
