At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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