it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
