ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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