They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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