it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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