She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
