The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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