I bet he comes in French.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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