Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
