i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
