We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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