can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
