so explain again why im purple
no
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize