im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
