He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
