lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
