I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
