my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Are my feet made of real feet?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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