I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
