But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My feet surprised me
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