2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
