So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
