remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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