Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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