Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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