Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
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I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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