So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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