Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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