I think I died a long time ago.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
