Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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