Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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