please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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