even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
