Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
