just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
