Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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