escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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