one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
