we're blogging at a bar
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
