Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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