I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
