I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize